One of THE most quoted pieces of marital advice you hear is “Marriage is about compromise”. But, what does that really mean? Most likely it means, you try to meet in the middle.
But you know what?
That means you each only get HALF of what you really want. Love and marriage are about meeting each others needs, and you can’t just meet HALF of someone’s needs.
For example: a husband and wife have a disagreement on what they want to do on their day off. The husband wants to sit and watch football all day while the wife wants to go on a long 7-mile hike. So they talk it out and meet in the middle of watching football for a couple hours and then going on a shorter 3-mile hike.
Now is either partner really happy? He had to cut the football game off at halftime and she didn’t get the nice long hiking workout she wanted.
What we need to do is learn what healthy compromise actually looks like.
Compromise is NOT about giving your partner SOME of what they want and need,, it’s about giving them ALL of what they want and need. It’s about SERVING your spouse. That’s what the most beautiful marriages look like. Two people serving one another.
It’s selfless. And if done with the right heart it becomes a beautiful cycle of “out-serving” the other person. The more selfless your spouse is toward you, the more selfless you want to be toward them..
Now someone has to start. You may not be living in a serving relationship now, but I bet that if you took that first step to serve him, he would want to join in. And so the cycle begins.
You’ve just discovered what it truly means to “compromise.”
Ditch meeting in the middle and take on the challenge of viewing compromise as serving the other person. So the next time you have a differing opinion or preference, I challenge you to be selfless out of love for your spouse.
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