Four Unhealthy Messages We Send To Our Kids–And The One They Need To Hear

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Sometimes as a parent, it’s important to look at how you parent and give yourself an honest assessment of how you are doing. I came across an excellent article on four types of parenting techniques and the messages they send. I HIGHLY encourage you to read the full article (it’s not long) to get all four, but I wanted to highlight two of the more common parenting approaches that I’ve seen.

The Boss Parent. I think this has been a common parenting technique for many, and truthfully, it’s one I’ve fallen back on as my default parenting mode. The Boss parent allows his or her child to ride bikes, perhaps even bigger than he can handle for his age. But when he meets the grill of the car he hears, “What were you thinking? You know the rules. Follow them. If you don’t listen, one of these days you’re going to get hit, and it’ll be your fault. You need to do better next time.”

The BFF Parent allows the child to bike wherever he wants through town because the backyard might limit his creativity or who he is to become. When he meets the grill of the car in the alley, this parent is writing down every detail the child can remember about the car to hunt down the person who dared drive on that alley while her son was riding his bike. The message the child receives is, “You can do it on your own. You’re amazing. When trouble comes, it’s the world’s fault, not yours. We’ll rescue you.”

According to the article, the one message your child NEEDS to hear is:

“You can explore safely within the boundaries, but when you stray and meet the grill of life, I’m here to help you learn from it. I love you unconditionally for who you are, but I love you enough to not leave you that way.”

I hope you find this as helpful as I did, and please don’t beat yourself up too hard as a parent. We all make mistakes. Just be willing to love your child the best you can, and learn from the times when you might fall short.

Why One Mom Makes Her Daughter Pay Rent

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(photo: www.scarymommy.com)

These days we regularly hear of all kinds of crazy things that young parents are doing to raise their children that make us shake our heads. At first glance, we might just assume the same about THIS STORY. Evidently, this mom by the name of Essence Evans makes her five year old daughter pay rent. “Pay rent” you say, “that’s outrageous!” Before you rush to call social services on this mom, she has a reason…and a very good one at that.

Each week, Essence Evans gives her little daughter $7 in allowance, and then she asks for $5 back for “rent”. After the fee is collected, her daughter is free to do whatever she wants with the leftover two bucks. The best part? The rent that Essence is collecting is actually going into a savings account in her daughter’s name. She plans on giving the money to her daughter on her 18th birthday, so that when she does leave the nest to go pay real rent, she’ll have a nice amount of cash saved up to start off with. How smart is that?

Essence explains in her Facebook post: ” This strategy not only prepares your child for the real world. But when they see how much real bills are they will appreciate you for giving them a huge discount.”

So basically, Essence took the idea of putting away money for her child’s future and turned it into a weekly teaching moment for her daughter. By the time her daughter reaches adulthood, her money management skills are sure to be ahead of the crowd.

I don’t know about you, but I wish I would have thought of that when my kids were little. If you have kids that are young, maybe you can start doing this very soon.

Bravo Essence Evans, you’ve inspired us all!

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(photo: www.izquotes.com)